Hanging Out the Dirty Laundry…

I don’t know about you but I can’t help wondering why people feel the need to share every teeny tiny little detail of their lives on social media or, even more bizarre, why they want to drag the world and his wife into their familial disputes. Take, for example, the Mum-in- law who wanted to charge her son £17 for Christmas dinner; it prompted a debate on Mumsnet and has now found its way into the mainstream media. Why???

Are our lives really so insular nowadays that we want to get involved with this kind of petty dispute? Are virtual reality shows not enough to fulfill our lust for rifling through the minutiae of other people’s lives? Maybe it’s just the case that reading about this type of nonsense makes us feel better about our own lives, who knows!

Am I being a hypocrite? I post all kind of personal stuff on WP that I possibly shouldn’t share with the world….is all this endless navel gazing healthy I wonder? Has social media unleashed something within us all that we are now happy to have our lives under constant scrutiny? Is there a positive side to it? Are we all being more open about our emotions these days behind the safety of an online account?

I’m not really going anywhere with this, I’d just be really interested to hear your thoughts; social media worries me a bit if I’m honest and I’m not sure if it should or I’m just behind the times……what do you think?

Lisa x

  48 comments for “Hanging Out the Dirty Laundry…

  1. November 26, 2018 at 11:36 am

    I do cringe sometimes and wonder if relatives or friends are likely to read what the blogger has written about them!

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 26, 2018 at 12:19 pm

      Exactly. For that reason I try not to share what I wouldn’t want anyone I know to read 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • blindzanygirl
        November 26, 2018 at 7:31 pm

        I never really thought about that Lisa. Because I never expect anyone to read here who knows me. And strangely, I do think that it can help, in a way, to know that people here don’t know us, and we may feel safer sharing stuff here. And of course, with poetry, we are sharing the very deep things of our souls. But still, I don’t warm to alk this outrageous stuff that seems to be goung on at the moment. But then cekebrities do it, and ppl in ge ern ent etc. So I guess that things are changing very much fromwhat they ysed to be like. Sorry, I have had two goes at this lol. Maybe I feel strongly about it too lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      • November 27, 2018 at 7:56 am

        You can have as many goes as you like my friend :O) xx

        Liked by 1 person

      • blindzanygirl
        November 27, 2018 at 8:55 am

        Lol Lisa. Thanks. I just had another one! I got thinking so much about this one! Xo

        Liked by 1 person

      • November 27, 2018 at 9:11 am

        Always happy to hear from you ;O) xx

        Liked by 1 person

      • blindzanygirl
        November 27, 2018 at 9:31 am

        Lol Lusa. I had better shut up now though. He he x

        Liked by 1 person

      • November 27, 2018 at 9:39 am

        Nah! It’s always pleasure chatting to you :O) x

        Like

      • blindzanygirl
        November 27, 2018 at 9:41 am

        Lol you got me going about those trees. Imagine a tree street fight! Could make a good kids book!

        Liked by 1 person

      • November 27, 2018 at 10:00 am

        You could be onto something there ;O) x

        Like

  2. blindzanygirl
    November 26, 2018 at 11:58 am

    I understand where you are coming from Lisa. I worry too. As far as WordPress is concerned, I set up my Blog purely and simply as a platform for my poetry, as I am often in bed all the time, and it was a way of getting my stuff out there. I just thought it was a website. At the same time, I did set up a Simple Site, and that one is VERY different to WP. People refer to WP as a COMMUNITY, which I was surprised at. I had not expected it. It has its pros and cons. With me, people read things into my poems, sometimes incorrectly, and make a judgement on that ie ME rather than the poem. Sometimes I say “It’s just a poem.” It CAN become intrusive and judgemental. But on the other had you can make great friends in here who can lift you when you really do need to be lifted. So it is a tightrope. I guess I have been too personal in what I have put out there at times. It is a trap we can fall into, especially in my case when I have no ppl in my life, through illness. I did decide at one
    Oint recently just to write about trees and things lol, so that no one had an inroad to me with incorrect assessments! On the other hand, ppl have been great, and that is a bonus. The internet has been a lifesaver for me. All my friends are in my iPad lol. But as for the otber stuff, yes I agree about that woman. And I hate Reality shows and ppl hanging their dirty washing out. I don’t watch them now. I don’t know. In many ways it is sad that life has become like thus – ppl living through social media all the time. For me it is a necessity to keep me sane, but if you are fit and healthy it might not be such a good thing. Certain groups are ok though, like mental health groups etc. I think that they can be yse full to some ppl, and no one knows you and so it may be safer. I must ad it that I myself have felt very vulnerable just lately, and have thought of withdrawing to protect myself. I will be really interested to read what other ppl think. X

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 27, 2018 at 7:27 am

      Morning Lorraine :O)
      I think that you’re absolutely right, there is a very fine line to be drawn when we write. It’s easy to forget that the people we ‘meet’ online are still people will all the same flaws as those that we meet in real life. Saying that I have experienced nothing but kindness on WP so I guess that’s what prompted me to be more open; should I start to get negative feedback I think that would change…
      I for one hope that you continue to share your more personal poems – there are only so many things we can say about a tree but life itself is limitless in what it can offer to a writer :O) xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • blindzanygirl
        November 27, 2018 at 8:43 am

        Lol Lisa you made me laugh about the trees.

        It is funny but this post of yours got me thinking a lot all day yesterday! I ended up with so many different views on it.

        I must say that I too have feceived nothing but kind ess on WP. In fact, it is WP that gas kept me going through my many trials in what I wilk call real life, if you know what I mean. A d I dont mean that in any derigatory sense as I always am aware that each person posting is a real oedson with feelings, struggles, triaks, and joys and successes. And so I try to share with them in that.

        There HAVE been occasions when something not so good happened to me, and I dealt wjth it. There are always those who will use a situation, and who set out to dusrupt. But alk forums etc have that priblem. A,though thus is not a forum as such.

        I honestly don’t know where I would have been without WP over the past couple of years, as I have become less able to participate in life here where I live, and as I experienced anlot of rejections from the places Iwould have least expected it. That was hard and should not have been the case, but it was. And my WP vriends so often saved me from utter despair,vwuthout even knowing it. Some days I would wake to a lively comment, and my spurits rose again from the very deoths. I felt of va,ye again.

        So WP itself is an amazing place. And I think it IS because as writers we DO share our souls. Thus makes us very vulnerable. And I for one get a bit worried about that. We all want to a
        Pear strong! Yet to write poetry and touch other people you have to share your vulnerability. So getting scared of that is pointless really. But I must admit that often I have worried if I have gone too far. But then had I not done that, other ppl would not have been touched.

        I think though, that all of the other stuff that goes on, like the sort of thing you mentioned Lisa is a sign of the times. Society has changed. I don’t know how it happened or why. It has become voyeuristic I think. And it seems that the more outrageous the better! So, I don’t like that. But it is as it is.

        Ok so back to trees lol. I have five coal tits in my willow tree thus morning, I am told. The tree seems quite happy, though the tree up the road is getting a bit fed up because it is getting no attention, and what it offers is being slyrned. So it is in a mardy mood, a d getting a bit healous. I don’t know what it is oreparing to do next. Maybe throw extea leaves off than it would normally have done, in a tantrum Lol x

        Liked by 1 person

      • November 27, 2018 at 9:10 am

        To be honest I think that we have to show vulnerability in order to really connect with other people and to accept love into our lives, The trouble is that no-one wants to go first in case they get hurt so we all keep our walls around us until they become a prison and not a protection.
        As for writing, I work on the principal that, if I love something I’ll say so but if I don’t or am ambivalent I’ll say nothing; I can’t understand people who have to say something bad – if you don’t like it don’t read it – simples!
        OK, I take back what I said about trees – if you can give them personalities like that you have an endless source of material – love it :O) xxx

        Liked by 1 person

      • blindzanygirl
        November 27, 2018 at 9:35 am

        Lol Lisa. It’s a bit like my fleas! Lol.

        Yes, regarding vulnerability – I think it has lots of different meanings. And I agree entirely with what you have said. I think that lits of pol put up walls around themselves. I have done it too, in the past, but have learnt differently now. We are all in the pricess of browing and transforming I think.

        Yay to those who only want to cause trouble. Spam them lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • November 27, 2018 at 9:40 am

        If we’re always transforming, it can only be a good thing :O) xx

        Like

  3. November 26, 2018 at 12:40 pm

    The world has no idea about boundaries. The world rely on their feelings and lust and temptation to design a “perfect” and “flawless” lifestyle. I do believe it is deteriorating our critical thinking skills and to be frank, or responsibility to filter what comes out our mouths. As a blogger you have to set boundaries on what you will discuss or not. The internet does not know how to limit us, so it’s the human beings responsibility to set boundaries. We’ve lost sight of humility, respect, standards, and limits.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. November 26, 2018 at 4:55 pm

    If I’m writing or posting about my family, I usually let the, read it ahead of time. The last thing I want to do is embarrass or upset them. Some writers or posters don’t seem to care though 🤷🏼‍♀️. It’s weird!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. November 26, 2018 at 5:03 pm

    I use social media very sparingly now, normally just to keep in touch with friends and relatives living far away. I comment very rarely, delete a lot of posts, report posts often, and despair at the stupidity and hostility of the populace at large!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 27, 2018 at 7:46 am

      Yep I’m with you on that Peter – I’ve given up on Twitter (too many trolls) and I can’t be bothered with Facebook (I don’t care what you had for lunch). I do use Instagram because I love photography but I don’t comment unless it’s to someone I know….
      Do you think that the populace has always been stupid and hostile or is it just that social media has made it more visible?? xx

      Like

  6. November 26, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    I don’t have a Twitter account and have, for all intents and purposes, stopped using Facebook, so my only online presence is here on WordPress, where I remain anonymous, providing only hints of who I am and what my everyday life is like in the real world. Most social media accounts are, as you say, TMI.

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 27, 2018 at 7:50 am

      Yes I think Dante could have added another circle of hell if he’d known about Twitter!
      Can I ask why you choose to stay anonymous on WP? x

      Liked by 1 person

      • November 27, 2018 at 3:34 pm

        Two reasons. First, no one I know in the real world, outside of my immediate family, know that I blog and I’d prefer to keep it that way. Second, I’ve had my identity stolen twice, and remaining anonymous here and elsewhere online, will, I hope, discourage it from happening again. And then there is this: https://fivedotoh.com/2018/06/09/fowc-hidden-identity/

        Liked by 2 people

      • November 27, 2018 at 5:24 pm

        Fair enough, I can totally respect that 😊 xx

        Liked by 1 person

  7. November 26, 2018 at 5:15 pm

    To be honest, I barely post anything on social media these days on my personal page. I tend to do a random post of something every couple of weeks to let people know I’m still alive, even though those seeing it wouldn’t care or realise if I wasn’t. That’s part of the impersonal nature of it all, and yet it becomes a platform for people to air dirty laundry, as you say, and sadly there are a lot of people out there with apparently nothing better to do with their time than to comment, start arguments, be insulting, and all the rest of it. I tend to try to avoid any dramas and only share what I’m comfortable with because once something is ‘out there’ you can’t take it back.x

    Liked by 2 people

    • November 27, 2018 at 7:52 am

      Once something is out there you can’t take it back – this is a very important point and one I think most of us probably forget! Thanks so much for your insightful comment :O) x

      Liked by 1 person

  8. November 26, 2018 at 6:28 pm

    I’m not sure why that sort of thing is ‘news’, but then I don’t find current “news’ to be worth anything, so I don’t read or watch it. ‘Reality’ seems to be the current trend…reality TV, and all that, so maybe people find their own lives so dull that they liven them up with pretending to be in someone else’s life. I think we’ve lost a lot of the connection that used to bind us as humanity. Cell phones and computers and internet and all that broke the human ‘touch’, so perhaps it’s a way of some folks trying to get that connection back. And then there’s always the ‘stupidity’ factor…some things (folks) are just stupid.

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 27, 2018 at 7:54 am

      I think you’re right! Isn’t it strange that the thing that was supposed to connect all of humanity (the internet) seems to have achieved quite the opposite?

      Like

  9. November 26, 2018 at 8:19 pm

    I guess I come back to the pure intention of what is put out there. Is it for “shock and awe and clicks”? I’ve seen some heart-wrenching, hard to read posts – really raw and soul baring – but the intent was to inform, uplift, and show people they’re not alone. hat I can get with and quickly discard the click-bait.

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 27, 2018 at 7:57 am

      Yep I think that’s a good way of looking at it – what is the intention…excellent point :O) x

      Liked by 1 person

  10. November 26, 2018 at 8:23 pm

    I can totally understand what you mean in this post, Lisa. I think for some people there’s this need to have constant attention because it, in some way, validates their worth. Like a person with low self esteem… they would probably be prompted to share every tiny detail of their life (like take a pic of a turkey sandwich) just to have someone comment and make them feel special. It’s really sad, but it’s reality for many people. I’m like you… it scares me that social media has this effect on people and I hate what it’s doing to the way we communicate with one another. I miss face to face talks and seeing people’s body movements and the sincerity in their eyes when they speak. Everything is behind a screen now and there’s this coldness to it. It just feels so robotic and artificial… does that make sense? Lol.

    Anyways… I really loved your thoughts on this! It was definitely spot on, my friend. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 27, 2018 at 8:00 am

      ‘A coldness to it’ – yes that does make absolutely perfect sense Manessah; face to face contact, even an argument, has an energy to it that social media can never have. Excellent point, well made :O) x

      Liked by 1 person

  11. November 27, 2018 at 12:56 am

    Many people in my neighborhood have subscribed to my blog, so that keeps me in check! I do express my opinions quite freely in my articles, but try to limit my sharing, when it comes to really personal stuff! A good prompt here, to encourage us to give some thought to this!

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 27, 2018 at 8:06 am

      Yes I imagine that knowing your neighbours could pop round to ‘discuss’ your blog would be a good deterrent to being too outspoken ;O) x

      Like

  12. November 27, 2018 at 10:50 am

    Hahaha that cat animation is funny

    Like

  13. November 28, 2018 at 2:04 am

    sharing your life on WP and airing your dirty laundry on FB are two entirely different things. Your presence on WP is desired and welcome. If it was crap you wouldn’t have almost 1000 followers. Some people just live for dirt and gossip. I never do that on FB

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 28, 2018 at 7:18 am

      Yep I think you’re right Billy – WP and FB are very different beasts! Thanks for your kind words – WP is a very special place; I don’t think that a community such as this could exist in the real world but I’m so glad I found it online :O) x

      Like

  14. November 28, 2018 at 2:22 am

    I rarely share minutiae on social media. Except for that time I freaked out while driving because I couldn’t find my eyeglasses. Because they were on my face.
    Because obviously, the world needs to know I’m an idiot.

    Seriously, though, I don’t get it either. Like, I mostly don’t care what the real housewives are doing and i dont care what justin bieber or any Kardashians are doing so i really really dont care that my next door neighbor found a crouton in her salad that had the face of jesus on it. Why people post these minutiae is beyond me.🤨

    Liked by 1 person

  15. November 28, 2018 at 10:21 pm

    I think that when you blog at the end you mostly interact with people who has many things in common with you and so it can be easy and natural to open to them. Immortalized every moment of your day and share it on social media that is different,I suppose is more a firm of exhibitionism 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Liked by 1 person

  16. December 7, 2018 at 2:31 am

    I’m going to come at it from another perspective. Rolling news being 24 hours now has to fill pages with SOMEthing. Imagine going to your daily paper and they say ‘Sorry nothing significant has happened so…um…we didn’t add anything. Re-read yesterdays news!’ *Cough!*

    There is this game of we will literally put anything in to fill up our pages so you don’t go to that other paper. Somebody fell over in a park? Upload it! Then there is the source’s side where they get a total rush in ‘going viral’ when their non story is picked up by the desperate 16 year old trainee journalist doing zero hours.
    It’s a game and as a result gravitas and a degree of intelligent conversation has been lost as both sides try to feed the machine. I think it’s that plus stuff like what Manessah B said.

    There is a sadder aspect to it also and that is that people are lonely. They are not being fulfilled by their own work, life or achievements and want to over share the minutiae for even the slightest bit of validation back, which could be seen as a poorer extension of blogging or anything where we sit there calling other people to react with us online.

    I think there’s a number of factors including reality shows, XFactor type shows and the Jeremy Kyle syndrome all driving this look-at-meism…it’s a really interesting topic..love it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 7, 2018 at 10:38 am

      You’ve made some really interesting points and I think that you’re right in what you’ve said. I also think that people have a much shorter attention span as far as the news is concerned – if they can’t get their headlines in 280 characters do they bother I wonder?
      I can appreciate that it must be super difficult for journalists these days – it’s like being caught between a rock and a hard place :O) x

      Like

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