Morning chaps, how are we all today? If you’ve got a minute I could really use your advice with something because I just cannot decide what to do. To explain, I’ve been living alone for more than 4 years now and, to be honest, I feel pretty lonely some of the time. Yesterday, a friend came up with a solution that would also involve helping others at the same time. Should be easy to say ‘yes’ shouldn’t it but…….
Her idea was for me to take on the training of a guide dog puppy, you know, those adorable bundles of fluff that eat your furniture and capture your heart? As soon as she said it I broke into the biggest smile and my instant answer was ‘yes!!!!! I want a puppy!!!’ As she’s not one to let the grass grow under her feet, she whisked me off to the local Guide Dog Centre and we had a long chat with the lady in charge. She was lovely and explained everything to me; they would pay for the food and vets bills and the dog would live with me in my apartment. Once a month we would attend training classes at the centre and I would be expected to walk the dog twice a day, instill discipline and give it bucket loads of affection….
This is where things started to get tricky because I know myself well. The affection would be no problem as I am desperate to have something to love; I have friends and family of course but no real outlet for the love that just seems to sit inside my chest in a huge leaden lump. Relationships with people are tricky and complex but animals love unconditionally and I crave that simplicity of feeling.
The exercise would certainly be easy as I am happy to walk for miles and I can’t help thinking that a puppy would be more fun than my i-phone which is what I usually have for company. The other upside of training a guide dog is that, unlike other dogs, they can go anywhere with you so, basically, we could do everything together….
The problem would definitely be the discipline side of things – saying no when the little tyke wants to sleep on the bed with me (not allowed) or curl up on the sofa next to me in the evening (not allowed) or wants to pick the choicest tidbits from my plate (definitely not allowed). I would have to concentrate on the dog’s training because, after all, he would be doing a job and that won’t be possible if I allow him to do whatever he feels like.
These thoughts were all hurtling through my mind at a rate of knots when, all of a sudden, they all crashed to a standstill to make room for a new one which entered the arena with all guns blazing…….
“you’re going to have to say goodbye”
Although, it had been mentioned a few minutes before I hadn’t really cottoned on to the significance of something the boss lady had said: ‘the training is for one year’. So, after living with, walking, training, playing and loving an animal for one year it would be taken away to live with someone else. That someone would need this dog, would be reliant on it, would deserve it……
I would love to be able to help someone in that way, this is such a very good cause! I love dogs and would just adore to have one around, even though I know it could chew its way through most of my possessions BUT I don’t know that I could say goodbye. I’ve done that too many times in the last few years and I don’t know that I could cope with it again.
So, here’s my question: Is the love that I’ll share for one year worth the pain of saying goodbye? I honestly don’t know so I’d really appreciate any advice that you have to offer